Friday, October 26, 2007

Warning...this is a long one.

I'm looking back on some of my more recent posts, and I can see where I have been writing about fairly shallow and surface like issues. I'm at a point in my life, where I have so many things racing through my mind, that I don't think I could zero in on just one and write about it.

I am an organized thinker. I like to deal with my problems, one at a time, in a logical manner. If this makes any sense at all, sometimes I think in bullet points in my mind.

*Our new senior pastor starts this next week. The church congregation, board, and search committee have selected this man unanimously, and I am excited to see what the possibilities are. Of course, Erik is a hired staff member who works directly for the senior pastor, so this can potentially be a delicate time for us. My mind goes there often.
*We are coming up on three years here at Stone, and I sincerely love this group of students that we serve. I love them so much that I share in their joys, but I also get effected by their struggles. My mind goes there often.
*Erik has been the children and youth pastor for coming up on 9 months, and it is certainly been stretching. My mind goes there often.

Erik has be the children and youth pastor for coming up on 9 months, and it is certainly been stretching. My mind goes there often.
I feel like I am neglecting my children because I have been working from home for the past 10 months. Sometimes I have to let Parker entertain himself for a few hours while I work. The guilt is endless. My mind goes there often.
* I have seen behavior and characteristics in my children that are resemble me, and I want to correct them and help them to make better choices. But how do you do this, when you haven't figured it out yet? My mind goes there often.

One would think that by 29, a person would know who they are. I thought I did this self discovery journey in my late teens and early twenties. I was fairly self assured and aware. Now, that I am a mom, a wife, and a church worker I feel like I've lost me. My mind goes there often.
*I have some health issues that the doctor is "exploring for the purpose of elimination". What does that mean? My mind goes there often.
*If I don't deal with certain issues in my life, I will be a bitter, angry, old woman. My mind goes there often.

If my mind is constantly traveling to all of these different thoughts, it is no wonder that I lose keys, phones, and sometimes kids...I just have no more room left in my mental house to entertain anything else! that feels better.


Happyness said...

Sometimes, it's okay to have surfacey, shallow posts. It allows us to share with others the little things in our day.

Other times, we can let it all hang out by being honest and open on our blogs.

Still other times, we must share with friends, independently, without necessarily spreading it out for the world to see.

And finally, sometimes, it's just between us and God. These thoughts may be constant in your mind, but consider this. Times those thoughts by billions, and you'll only get a fraction of the headache God deals with daily. Your problems are his problems, your worries are his worries.

As your friend, I share the same with you. Love.

sharonie said...

so ummm how about my shallow post of Jason's mustache...I just treat a blog like Journal. Things I want to remember a year or 10 years from now. Some shallow things, some sentitmental things, and some deep thoughts.

Angel said...

So, what's going on with the health issues? I'll have to call you tomorrow and we can chat....