Thursday, January 21, 2010


I am earnestly trying to learn the secret of being content in all circumstances, like the apostle Paul challenges us to do. I allow too many variables to control my emotions. If it is a sunny day, I feel relaxed. If I'm having a good fashion day, I feel pretty. If I caught a good sale at the store, I feel resourceful. All of those are minor, but certainly portray that are bigger issues and emotions at hand.

I don't know how to remain positive, cheerful, and hopeful when circumstances are dark and dim. I know all of the Scriptures that speak to these issues, but I am struggling on how to implement them in to my life.

I am reactionary. Maybe it's because I'm Italian. Maybe it's because I'm a woman. I think it's probably because I'm a human.

I would love to know how the Apostle Paul was able to experience torture, starvation, abandonment, and loss and still speak of how he had joy because he had Jesus. Gracious. If I'm not careful I let my emotions runaway with my mind, and take my peace with it.

I think if an objective judiciary figure were to hear my reasons for feeling angry, sad, and frustrated, I'd probably receive justification for having such thoughts. I'd most likely be granted a license to feel defeated. Really, I, and us as a family, have had a difficult go of it lately. There have been many obstacles in our path.

I don't know where I am going with this post to you. I'm guessing that at one point in your life, you will be where I am now. You will wonder how you can obtain joy and live in joy despite dealing with unpleasant circumstances. My answer would be this: You have to rely upon what you know, rather than on what you feel.

My mind knows that God is good. My mind knows that His peace passes all understanding. My mind knows that His plans are for a good and prosperous future. My mind knows that He works all things together for those that love Him. My mind knows that His ways are higher than my ways. My mind knows that He will never leave me or forsake me. My mind knows that in order to live in this life day after day, my mind has to continually transformed and renewed. My mind knows that I need Him. My mind knows that He will meet all of my needs. My mind knows that when I'm at my weakest, His strength is perfect. My mind knows that His grace is enough. My mind knows that He has assigned me a portion and cup and has made my lot secure. My mind knows that He offers to carry my burdens for me.

My mind knows, but my heart questions. So, where do I go from here? I be still and allow my heart to be convinced that He is God. I am so thankful for a patient savior that promises to finish the work that He began in me. I am so thankful that Jesus is the author and the perfecter of my faith that is currently being tested. I am beyond appreciative of His mercy and His unconditional love. And ultimately, when I walk through these valleys, I know that He is with me and He comforts me. Victory is His, and He is going to share it with me.


Mrs. B. said...

You have no idea how much this post touched my heart. I just said all of the things regarding what my mind knows and my heart questions today to Ira...
Sometimes it's just good to know that I'm not the only one whose heart is a little bit broken and more than a little confused...

Rae Nolt said...

I feel the same way! The past few weeks, I've been TRYING to be content in life...but, with a baby on the way, I'm SO EXCITED to meet him. How can I be content RIGHT NOW---preparing for this baby--and still be allowed to be excited...with a CAN'T WAIT attitude. One day at a time. Thanks for being real!

Megan said...

WOW, Bethany. Thank you for this post. This has truly been a blessing to me. Thank you for sharing what you have been dealing with. Your family is still in my thoughts and prayers. I care for your family as if I have known you for years. Thank you for being honest. :)

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