I am currently going through a season of loss in my life. Grandpa is still struggling with and losing his battle with cancer, I've lost my job, and we are getting ready to say good-bye to people in our church that we know and love.
I was asking God why all of this was happening at once. I was asking Him why He couldn't space these circumstances out a bit. Some people do not believe that it is okay to ask God "why", because it carries a hint of doubt. If Jesus can ask "Where are you God my Father and why does it feel like you've left me?" while he was hanging on the cross, then I feel that it is okay to express those same emotions to my Creator and Father.
I have allowed myself to ask the "why" question, but looming right beneath the surface is the "what" question. "What do you want to do in me through this circumstance, and what are you trying to teach me?" This is certainly a time where my faith is being tested, and instead of growing bitter during the fire, I need to rejoice because ultimately I am being refined to be made more like Jesus.
Several times this week I have said, "Lord I simply cannot handle it." To which I feel as if He says, "Good. It's about time you've figured that out missy!". I hear Him gently reminding me to give Him my burdens because His are light (you'd think carrying the burdens of the world on your shoulders would be a big deal, but that just proves how powerful He truly is).
I hear Him reminding me that He is the Prince of Peace, and His Spirit is my comforter. I hear Him telling me that He is close to those that are broken-hearted and crushed in Spirit, and I hear him reminding me to cast all my cares upon Him. I hear Him telling me that His grace is perfect for this time of weakness, and that suffering in due time gives way to hope.
This is why I serve Jesus boys, and this is why I pray you do to. He is real. His peace is real. His plan is perfect. His mercy never fails. He is good. And His love endures forever.