My heart overflows with love for Kent. He has this way of talking where each word or sentence ends on a higher note than when he started. It's almost as if he sings each time he speaks. He melts my heart when he says, "Mommy, hold you?"
Now, with that said, we having been having a difficult time parenting this little bundle of fireworks. I think I am so thrown off here because Parker was mostly compliant and teachable. He has a healthy fear of me and is scared of the consequences of misbehavior. Kent has NO FEAR! Spankings do nothing, time outs are painful for me because he screams at the top of his lungs. Then when I release him from a timeout and ask him what he did wrong, he has no idea.
There is definitely a power struggle going on here. And I am at my end. I find myself saying to him "Listen here mister. I am the boss! You will do what I say." I know that is not the best way to parent, but I'm at clueless as to how to get this little pistol to respond and be obedient. I just have to look at Parker, and he gets the message. Kent...not so much. He is wearing me out, and sometimes I just want to give in because it is easier (but I don't out of fear that his not cleaning up blocks leads to him being a disrespectful, selfish, and irresponsible adult..am I taking this overboard?). Who knew parenting could be so tough? Erik and I have even discussed me quitting my job so that I can devote more time to helping Kent get on the right track. If this is what is happening at 2, can you imagine what 13 looks like?
He questions. He pushes. Help!!!! I feel like all my "tricks" aren't working. I need wisdom from God, and from friends. I'm open....
10 comments:
No way are you overreacting! Catching a hold of his misbehavior now will only help him in the long run. Try telling him why he is going into time-out while you are walking him over to his "spot". Then set the timer and let him know when it goes off, he can get out. Screaming is annoying but let him do it. If he gets out of time-out put him back in and reset the timer. It is very time consuming but hopefully he will get the point. When the timer does go off. Tell him again (don't ask him) why he was in time-out. If a "sorry" is needed make him apologize then hug/kiss his and tell him you love him. If you need "Nanny Cara" to come over I will! LOL
I think Cara has some good advice!Don't give up. Your a great mom and Kent is just testing to see if you will give in.
I have one of those in my life... her name is Jesslyn and she also says "hold you" which I love... but man can she be defiant. I have many days when I do want to just pull my hair out and sometimes I verbally threaten that. I have heard that getting it out of them now is better than dealing with it worse at 13. Time outs only work when Joel is in charge .. she never does those for me. I do also think that while you can't let them get away with things, we must choose our battles. That is why Jesslyn sometimes is dressed like an orphan because I don't have the strength within me to fight about what she may have chosen to wear. It also amazes me that some people have children who are really just easier.... mine are both pretty strong willed. Nevaeh has come leaps and bounds and hardly gives us a hard time so I have hope! This too shall pass.... and God help us because then they will be teenagers!!!
nice first sentance of your blog! Clear it out in the open before you say how you reall feel! Just kidding!
I know it's an old book but have you read "The strong willed Child" by Dr. James Dobson? He has a lot of good advice for parenting the hard to parent children.
Kent sounds like Brayden, and I have no advice because I still haven't figured out what to do. I just keep praying that he will get better as he gets older...probably not the best strategy. When you find the magic answer, please share! (Hopefully Cameron will be like Parker!)
oh man, the terrible two's lol. Well I've noticed that the second child is always harder to raise. My aunt has to boys and the older one is a very good kid and he was much easier to raise than the younger one. Not that the younger one isnt a good kid, he just tends to throw fits quicker and doesn't quite listen the first time he's told. I think it has something to do with having an older sibling and thinking they can get away with things. But your def not overreacting, the younger child always seems to be more rebellious.
Unfortuantely I don't have any first hand experience.... I remember my sis going through something similair with one of her sweethearts... She actually had to take something positive away. As most parents might ground to the room, Syd loved being alone in her room... so she dis-allowed her to go play in her room. I don't know but I think what she found worked was finding out what makes her tick and then takng it away... even if it's broccoli ?? Good luck! I'll say a prayer for you!
Erik and Brian were alot like Parker and Kent. I made many mistakes and gave up often but I think they both turned out pretty good. I know what may happen in the future if we don't do it correctly now, can scare us but time, consistency and lots of love covers a multitude of sins and God will enable you to get through this time. Even if you make mistakes Kent will be a wonderful strong man of God because there is love and integrity in your home.
You are a great mom and all of you will survive!
This must be the week for misconduct!!! Read my latest entry...
xoxo
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