Over the last few weeks, I have heard about several couples that have been in ministry that have gotten divorced or separated recently. The divorce rate among clergy is no different than that of the general population. I saw a statistic today that revealed that the divorce rate among protestant clergy is 65 %, which is near 15 % higher than the average US rate. This frightens me.
I have my theories of why this occurs, but I'd rather not dwell on the problem. Instead, I'd like to concentrate on the solution. I called my husband on Wednesday and asked him to go out on a date. We rarely do this. The boys go to bed early enough, so we have some time together in the evenings, but truthfully, our nights are spent doing chores or errands that we can't do when the boys are awake. Then, when we have days that are free, we are usually too tired to drag ourselves up and out.
But, I don't want to end up like these 65 % of other clergy. I know enough to know that the enemy is real, and that his goal is to steal what is good, kill what is alive, and destroy our hope, foundation, and future.
I have a renewed sense of intention when it comes to putting our marriage first. So, for the first time in a long time, I'm going to shave my legs and wear a dress to some place other than church!
After a nice dinner, we are going to a movie..The last movie that Erik and I saw together was "The Notebook". It was THAT long ago. I am looking forward to holding his hand, instead of the wet, sticky hand of a toddler. I am looking forward to eating quietly with him, instead of doing airplanes and choo choo train noises as I feed the boys. Hopefully I 'll be able to stay up past 9:00!
The journal of a lady in love with 3 blue eyed men.
9 comments:
I think sometimes we get so caught up in routine that we forget to love and appreciate each other! I think it's a great idea that you are having date night - rekindling your romance...oh la la!
I am glad you guys were able to get out together:-) Now with Kayla, and me working weekends, we are starting to learn the importance of making time for each other...and that if you don't schedule the time, it will never happen!
That is awesome that you will get time with each other! Now, plz keep this in context as K & I don't have kids...But your kids are with you for 18 years (legally). Your spouse is with you a lot longer than that. So many couples I know focus on soley on the kids. They overlook each other in putting the kids 1st.(plz don't beat me for this). What I am saying is that it is VERY important to put both the spouse and the kids in a tie for 1st. We need that time with the spouse just as much as we need the time with the kids just as much as we need time by ourselves. Without that time, communication breaks down and will erode a marriage. (I am watching it happen to someone dear to me right now).
Anyway...my $.02. Sorry for the rant and I hope that you both have an awesome time! Enjoy yourselves, you both work too hard and deserve the time together!
Mike
I'm glad you and Erik scheduled a date night! Even though Rick and I don't have kids yet...we still make Friday night our date night. This night is exclusively for us and I hope to protect that date night in the future with children.
I hope you two have a fun and relaxing time on your date. You deserve it! :)
Date nights are so crucial!!! We try to do them every few months...once a month would be more ideal, but that doesn't always happen!
The enemy must be really trying hard because I am also worried about this. No one is above temptation and it seems like more and more pastors are falling.
Chris and I went on a date last weekend for the first time in a long time. Why since we don't have children? Money!!! HAHA
Have fun on your date night and ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT!
The greatest gift that you can give your children are parents who love each other and take time for one another. It takes time and effort to cultivate a loving relationship. George and I are now reaping the benefits of that cultivation and are having the time of our lives (empty-nesters). We are each others best friends. While we had children at home we made a point of spending the night away at least every 4 months as well as enjoying activities together. I would put a little money away each week for these get-aways. This helped us to prepare for an empty nest and helped our children know that they can live without us. It's been hard work but we must be doing something right because we've been married for 27 years now.
Happy Mother's Day!!!
I hope you guys had a great date... so which did you like better "Ironman" or "The Notebook"?
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