I'm just feeling a bit grumpy this morning. I enjoyed my morning run, but afterward I was too tired to do any weight training. At 3:30 this morning I heard Parker talking in his sleep. He was yelling, "Give me my mom!". He repeated it twice, and then fell back to sleep. Unlike him, I was up then for another hour and a half. I am dealing with a situation right now that is monopolizing my energy and thoughts. It is imperative that I do the right thing...I don't know if I am completely open to hearing what God is trying to tell me though. I say I am, but then I try to rationalize, justify, and manipulate the answer into being the solution that I want. Last night at about 4 am, I actually prayed that God would miraculously intervene so that I wouldn't have to play a role in the circumstance. I am not trying to shrink back from my responsibility...okay, maybe in all reality, I am trying to do just that.
In the ministry you love, encourage, and direct people. Often, you end up sharing their burdens too. This is part of the package deal. I don't mind shouldering some of the load, but it certainly takes it's emotional and spiritual toll on me. This is where I need to be depending on the Lord to be God, and me just his vessel.