In a recent discussion with our high school girls, I was shocked to learn several facts concerning the forming of their standards for sexual purity. This is what I have learned the last 10 years working with students through several local churches.
1) Few have received guidance from a parent in regards to what their parent's expect and what God expects from them in the area of sexuality.
2) Few have been taught about the meaning of sex or why God created it.
3) Few feel as if they can approach their parents with questions because they feel as if discipline would follow, or that their parents would not know how to respond.
4) Few understand the relationship between a man and woman's physical union and the symbolism it has with God and man.
5) Few have formally taken a commitment to remain sexually pure until marriage. This was something was initiated by my parents as a young high school student. They did this same thing with my siblings when they were Jr. High.
6) Few have formed their own physical boundaries. They just know "where not supposed to have sex", but what they wanted to know is "what CAN we do without it being a sin?" Clearly, they don't comprehend that sex is not just physical issue.
7) When I ask why they think God has these standards for sex, none know the answer.
8) Most of them agree that what they know about sex they've learned from friends and media, of which are not Christ centered sources.
9) Most unfortunately agree that while it may be biblical to wait until you're married to have sex, it is not always realistic.
10) Most agree that they had no one to look to or talk to when it comes to having a healthy understanding of sex.
11) Most agree that their parents have not expressed what they expect their student to do with their sexual issues. They've may been told what, but the "why" has not been answered.
These girls at 15, 16, 17, and 18 years old certainly have been confronted with the idea of sex. The majority of what they know and are learning is not coming from a godly, biblical, or mature source. Their ideas and opinions are being formed by culture, peers, and media. This is a scary thought! We need to impart to them a healthy understanding of God and sex. It is His creation, His idea, and His workmanship. This gift has already been distorted by society and sadly its ideas have infiltrated the church. It's time to be proactive and to be the initiators of dialog with our students. It's time that their perspectives and philosophies concerning sex are formed and guided by the Christ centered sources in their lives.
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