Sometimes I think that God allows us to see ourselves as we really are. This past week, I've had the opportunity, due to several situations, to see what's on my inside. And it ain't pretty. Actually, it's quite embarrassing. Even ugly.
I had no idea that I had the capability to feel the way that I have, or react as I've been. I guess the better way to say it, is that I thought that I had reached a point in my maturity to be past such childish attitudes. I thought that I had obtained enough self control to filter my thoughts before they became actions.
David felt the same way in Psalm 51 when after he examined his life and actions, he asked God to create a new heart within him. I am thankful that God has given me a mirror this week, in that He has ordained for me to endure circumstances which exhibited my weaknesses. Without these periods of highlighted shortcomings, I have the tendency to be a tad self-righteous. Just a tad. Which for me, leads to an independence from God. I begin to think that it is not necessary to stay connected to THE grace giving source.
I know that this time has been provided for me to grow, to learn, and to depend more on a perfect God.
The journal of a lady in love with 3 blue eyed men.
1 comment:
You write so well, Bethany. Seriously. It comes from your heart I know, but it's wrapped up in such a nice package. :-)
P.S. Thanks for your compliment about Ava. SO many people say she looks like a doll. It is fun buying clothes for her, but she's a little wiggle worm who hates getting dressed. So it's not technically fun getting her dressed. It's actually quite frustrating! Lol.
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