Breakdown

I had a major meltdown last evening. I've been feeling overwhelmed with life lately, and my work responsibilities are requiring more and more time. The guilt of working and not being able to focus soley on the the boys is finally taking its toll on me.

Parker lost his stuffed animal again, and I was turning the house upside down looking for George. We finally had Parker consoled, and he was in bed with a substitute monkey named Cousin Bob. I was in the middle of washing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees and I just lost it. With a rag in hand, I began sobbing. Parker's last words before he fell asleep were, "I've lost Georgie forever". His sad commentary was ringing in my ears as I was scrubbing, and I couldn't handle the thought of him losing his best friend. The whole George incident was the straw that broke the already weak camel's back.

I put the rag aside, and went downstairs to reiterate to Erik the importance of finding George. He saw that I was an absolute mess, and motioned for me to come sit down so he could hug me. I'm sure he was thinking, "You are crying over a stuffed animal?"

I went and cried on my bed. I cried because I was tired, and I still had loads of housework to do. I cried because I've been working for a year, and I miss being able to devote all of my attention to the boys. I cried because Parker lost George, who is more than an animal, rather he is a source of comfort and friendship. George also represents Parker's toddler years, and I am sad to see that era end. In the midst of these tears, I had an hunch to check one more place. (I had seriously prayed about George this afternoon, and I think the Holy Spirit felt sorry for me!)

Sure enough, I found George in one of Kent's dresser drawers. Kent is our family kleptomaniac. I woke Parker up, and dangled George in front of his face...he sat up straight in bed, grabbed the animal, and went back to bed.

I laid in my bed, and turned on The Office. I laughed out loud when Michael told Oscar they were celebrating his Mexicanity. Just like that, my mood changed, and life was great.

This morning when Parker woke up, he said, "Mommy, you found George. You are the hero!"

What is the moral of the story? I was so overwhelmed this week, I felt like I was going to burst. A good cry, followed by a good laugh, was exactly what I needed.