Tuesday, December 11, 2007


The idea of purpose has been on my mind lately. I've been having the internal feeling that I am not accomplishing all that God has designed for me to do. I don't know if it is because my 30th birthday is on next year's horizons, or if it is because the new year often brings a time of reflection, or if it's because I've been watching too much Oprah. Regardless of the reason, I've been examining my life, and cannot help but think that God has more for me.

You'd think that by my age, I'd know what I am supposed to "do" with my life. I know God's called me to be in the ministry, and at this point in the game, I'm more of a utility player because of my other responsibilities. Being a mother of two children is my first priority. These boys are my passion, and my single greatest desire is to nurture them and raise them to know the Lord. But, I know that I am to be playing other roles in the Kingdom of God.

I've heard it preached that you should find out what your passions are, and what your gifts include. If those two can be intermingled, then you'll be going at full force. I have passions, but most often they include me as the center. I have gifts, but I don't know how to label them because they seem to be ambiguous. I don't sing, play the piano, sew, or have incredible hospitality skills. My gifts include talking, organizing, and being bossy (okay, we'll use the word delegating assistant). How do I use those to fulfill what God intends for me?

I have dreams, but they seem so unattainable and impractical. Erik preached two weeks ago about dreaming the impossible and allowing God to use you in ways you never thought. If I have these dreams, then is that an indication of what I'm supposed to be doing? What if I am not equipped or educated in the areas that my dreams entail? I want to write a book, I want to travel and speak to teenagers about dating with integrity and keeping themselves physically and emotionally pure, I want to open an orphanage, I want to get a master's degree, ...and the list goes on.

All in all, I want to be faithful to what God has for me. But how can I follow directions that I don't feel like I've yet heard? I guess the initial step is to pledge my obedience to God, and therefore prove that I will be a good steward of the commands He gives me.

I want to live a fulfilled, purposeful life, and when it is my time to stand before my Father, I don't want to have regrets.


Misteng said...

Sometimes, when we "listen" too hard we become hard of hearing. Live life according to God's word and things will set themselves in motion. Because we do not know God's plans for us (frustrating, I agree) we do not know that His plan is not already in motion.

Katie said...

Your Hospitality skills ARE incredible! You always make people feel welcome and comfortable. And leaders are very important too. Many poeple look up to you... you inspire me to be a better person, Bethany! As far as more gifts, God reveals them one at a time...
I have really been feeling the same way lately.... and then today I had a chance to talk to someone about Christ who was receptive... God's perfect plan puts us in the right place at the right time.

sharonie said...

you are using the gifts and are fulling your purpose. Don't you think that each phase you enter into God gives you a new purpose? Your purpose 7 years ago is different than your purpose now. I think you have dreams adn purposes for yourself in teh future, but now is the time to fullfill today's purpose with energy, joy, and wholeheartedly.

Does that make sense? I know my purpose right now is a teacher, 5 years ago it was Jr. High ministry, and now in 3 months it will be a mother. Now 8 years from now, I have no clue what my purpose or dream will be. But all I know is I am trying to do the best that I can do and be right now with where God has me. It will all change each phase I enter into.

Kelly Weinberg said...

Bethany, You are an amazing women with a heart fully dedicated to God!! You are leaving a legacy here on earth that you will not even know about until you meet Jesus face to face!

I know in college God used you in my life in incredible ways!! He is still using you today to touch the lives of those around you! :)

Bethany Patrice said...

mike-what a good thought. What if instead of waiting for God's plan to take place, I should be rejoicing..it may already be in the works!

Katie-you are right about being in the perfect place at the right time, being God's job. I've just got to be cooperative.

Sharon-these may be some of the best words I have ever heard you speak. I never thought about my purpose changing along with my seasons.

Kelly-you are on the right track in saying that I don't know how much God's plan has unfolded in my life until I meet Him face to face. You are so encouraging. Move Closer ALready!! :)