Monday, September 24, 2007

I want to beat up the mean kids

Yesterday when I woke Parker up for Pre-school, he was less than excited. I had to drag him to get dressed, force him to brush his teeth, and literally beg him to let go of me when we got to the classroom. Before I left the building, I took one last peek through the window. My heart sank when I saw Parker standing behind a group of children playing with blocks with a wishful look on his face. He was too timid to enter into play with them. I left with an uneasy feeling, but this whole school scenario is designed to put me and Parker out of our comfort zones.

When I went to pick him up he and his classmates were on the playground. Parker was off to the side sitting on a bike with his fingers in his mouth. As soon as he saw me, he ran to the fence so I could rescue him. In the car I started to initiate conversation so I could determine how his day was. This is what he said to me, "These friends are not my favorite." Of course I asked why, and he replied, "Because they be mean at me. They say 'ha ha , you not come my house.' " I asked him what he did when these children were mean to him, and he said that he went by the books and he read by himself. He told me that he liked to play by himself at school, and that all of his favorite friends were at church.

This was the exact reason why I chose to send Parker to school at a place other than our church's program. He is so comfortable at church, because he is a pastor's kid. He is used to people initiating interaction with him. He is used to people wanting to be his friend. I think it is hard for him to be at a place where he has to make new friends and actively seek out playmates. At church he is the most outgoing and aggressive boy, so to see this side of him at school is confusing to me.

My heart is breaking. I know this is part of parenting, but what mom wants to see their son suffering from rejection. I want to take the easy route and just put him at the church's program, but my instincts tell me that this is what he needs to develop proper social skills. It is my turn to volunteer on Monday in his classroom, so I am going to observe the dynamic and then maybe talk to the teacher. If all else fails, I'm going to beat up the mean kids!

On a funnier note, Parker asked me what his blood pressure is today. I have no idea where he gets this stuff.


Janna Banana said...

awww! I'm gonna go beat up those bullies! They can't do that to my nephew...he's too cute!

Megan said...

Bethany- I use to teach Pre-K and yes some kids are mean and there are those kids in every class. But it could also be because he is new and other kids are comfortable like Parker is with his church friends. I know it hurts. When I taught I had a few moms that had the same feelings as you when their son or daughter would go home sad and hurt. Give it a week or two and hopefully things will change. If they don't THEN there is some action to be made. I think he will do fine.

I bet the blood pressure thing came from his new school. Most Pre-K Classes have a doctors bag in the one of the centers. Or the teacher may have been going over what happens at the doctors office. As a teacher we would go over what happens at the doctors, dentist and so on. Let them know it is a fun place and the doctors get to use really cool tools. At that age they really love it!

Sorry for the long comment back I just really understand as the teachers view. I hope those kids are not mean to him anymore. I think it is a great idea for you to talk to the teacher tomorrow when you go into help.

He will end up loving school so much he won't want to leave. Hopefully. haha Love yah and have a great day!

Joan said...

OK now grandma is mad! How could anyone not want to be my adorable, perfectly wonderful grandson's friend? I just don't understand. These kids just don't know what they're doing! I'm sure they will figure it out soon enough though. Who could not like that adorable face?
By the way I think we all need to keep in mind that the boy is only 3 years old and he has plenty of time to get this relationship thing figured out. Hey, how many of us have it figured out?
Bethany you are a fantastic mom and I love to watch you do it with so much grace.
Mom Joan

Angel said...

that scares me...I haven't put Josiah into preschool yet. I'm waiting to enroll him in pre-K next year so he'll be 5 1/2 when he starts Kindergarten. But, I would feel the same way. You're doing a great job as a mom and Parker loves you so much. I wish we could keep them from all the bad things that will happen, but we can't and yes, they do have to learn things on their own. It's wrong I think to shelter them too much. So, maybe when you go in to help you'll get some insight into his little world. GO Parker! Hey - it could be worse huh? He could be the one bullying the other kids around - I wouldn't want that!

sharonie said...

ahhh that makes me want to cry! I can't imagine seeing Parker lonely when there are so many kids around. That is so very sad! As a teacher, it now makes me want to be more aware and sensitive to the kids who tell me that they don't have anyone to play with on the playground.

I think you had the right way to go about keeping him in this school adn not the churhes school. I think there will be long term benifits to you doing this.