Working Out

I have just completed my fourth week of working out. That is something that I have not done since before Parker was born. I have not run consistently for four years and I'm realizing just how rusty my joints are. My goal is to run a 5k with my sister this summer. She was talking to me yesterday about running for this animal shelter in Wheaton. Honestly, I can not stand animals nor do I care about their well being and preservation, but I thought it'd be a challenge to set my sights on. (sorry peta) I was a very athletic individual in high school, but completely slacked off when I got to college. I've had two children in three years, and pregnancy and motherhood has certainly taken it's toll! I am determined to tone my muscles and to better my cardiovascular strength.
The problem is this...I have no patience. I want results now!!! I can't understand why I am not seeing any results yet. Instead of feeling encouraged by the fact that I can now run two miles without stopping (something I have not done since 2003), I am mad that my muscles don't look like they did when I was in high school. This has caused me to look deeper into my heart and realize that the reason why I give up on so many dreams and goals in life is because I am impatient and unwilling to be faithful to the process. When I work at something, I expect to see immediate outcomes. If I don't, then I feel discouraged and most often just quit. I am understanding now that being faithful to the process is part of the experience. I understand that it's not necessarily the end that is satisfying but it's the journey.
There are certain issues in my life that God has spoken to me about. They are habits, traits, and perspectives that I have made a part of my core and have become part of my nature. It's time to change these things. The problem? I want them to change now, without work and without struggle. In one of his books, Mark Batterson writes that a big part of growing is unlearning what you've "learned" through experiences, teachings, and upbringing. I'm in the PROCESS of unlearning to doubt, unlearning to criticize, and unlearning to control everything. Just like the results of my working out, these things are going to take time. I need the strength to remain committed to the work that God wants to do in my life. Even if I fail and fall into what seems natural to me, I need to keep on the journey of being made more and more like Jesus each day.